Rating: 4 / 5 ⭐️
All My Puny Sorrows
Author: Miriam Toews
Published: 2014 (McSweeney’s – First Published in Canada)
Pages: 317 (Hardcover)
Genres: Fiction, Literary Fiction, Adult, Mental Health
CW: Sexual Content, Mentions of Suicide (TW!), Grief, Death of Family Members

Happy March! Last week I finished “All My Puny Sorrows” by Canadian writer, Miriam Toews. I first learned of this book through TikTok (a.k.a “BookTok”). I don’t look for recommendations through that platform often, but I’m glad I did with this one and I might have to look out for more! I know TikTok has its issues, but that’s another debate for another time and place. This is the first book I’ve read by Toews, a writer of Mennonite decent and highly awarded and honored in Canada. This book has won the author multiple literary awards, and I can definitely see why.

“It was the first time that we had sort of articulated our major problem. She wanted to die and I wanted her to live and we were enemies who loved each other”

– Miriam Toews, “All My Puny Sorrows”

This novel explores some more sensitive mental health topics so buckle up. Centering around two sisters who grew up together in a Mennonite community in Winnipeg: Yolandi (Yoli), a woman in Toronto who is barely adulting, broke and trying to take care of her two children that are the blessed product of two different failed relationships while getting by on odd jobs. And Elfreida (Elf), an intelligent concert pianist who is happily married, financially secure, beautiful and cherished around the world. But Elf wants to die, which terrifies and hurts Yoli to her core. After Elf’s latest suicide attempt before her big world tour, Yoli tries to make sense of Elf’s decision as Elf recovers in a psychiatric hospital through conversations with her sister and reflections on the other people in their lives. Yoli also reflects on their own childhood as well for answers. The novel examines the relationship between two sisters through Yoli’s eyes and touches upon grief, joy, depression, mental health challenges, and how far our love can go.

“When Richard Bach wrote ‘If you love someone, set them free’ he can’t have been directing his advice at human beings”

– Miriam Toews, “All My Puny Sorrows”

I have to say first off, Toews writing was so good! I loved her humorous voice as an author, and the wit and candor contained in her writing. This book touches upon some very serious and depressing topics, ones I thought would be uncomfortable to read about. I have my own, but different, mental health challenges, and have family members who struggle with similar issues to those in the novel. But I was engrossed in this book from start to finish. For me, the humor and love in this novel mixed with darker reflections translated into what makes us human. I also learned a lot about the Mennonite community that I did not know before, and her commentary on the mental health system in Canada was also fascinating. How the author presented mental health issues running in families was also so, so good. Though overall, I was not a fan of how the author presented a certain character turning out near the end of the novel (and no, I’m not talking about Elf), other than that I thought the plot, writing, vivid imagery, and other details were satisfying and fantastic.

“The pain of letting go of grief is just as painful or even more painful than the grief itself

– Miriam Toews, “All My Puny Sorrows”

Definitely keep in mind the trigger warning topic of suicide. This topic is discussed in detail, but it is done appropriately and sensitively, in my opinion. The author stated this book is based on the suicide of her sister in 2010 and the events leading up to it. Which breaks my heart a little to hear, but it adds to the richness and meaning of the writing. You can read more about this in an interview with her by The Guardian here. Definitely recommend this one at 4⭐️s!

_Elizabeth

If you believe a friend or a loved one is in immediate danger, please call 911, or your local police station, or the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988.

---

How do I rate the books I write about? Click here